Grief work is not a linear path
It’s a lifelong dance between feeling our sadness and inviting moments of joy to be experienced. As we toggle between the two, we acknowledge that what we’ve lost mattered and that we matter too.
Grief Unleashed was born out of a deep desire to alleviate needless suffering, forge stronger connections, and inspire hope amidst life’s darkest moments. It is by doing the necessary grief work that grievers become more resourced and feel less isolated as a result.
What might be a more holistic way for you to grieve your loss?
Over our life span, we will experience micro losses and if we live long enough, major ones. At Grief Unleashed our purpose is to support greater grief and loss literacy. Too often, our culture promotes a fear of death and dying. We reward people for being brave and strong during their most difficult moments, rather than give them permission to grieve their loss, in their own unique ways.
More needs to be done to promote and offer humanistic approaches that create a safe refuge for the bereaved to express their emotions, share their experiences, and feel supported.
All of our grief teachings are inspired by three central tenets of anguishing, languishing and flourishing. Understanding these tenets evokes greater confidence as we journey through our experiences with grief and loss.
ANGUISHING
When we are ‘anguishing’ we don’t think we can get through life without our loved one. The death of our dream means a piece of our soul has died with it … and our hearts are broken. We might feel lonely, scared, isolated, hopeless, angry, lost, depressed … we can’t image a future without them. This is the acute phase of our grief. Grief is a natural and internal response to a severed attachment. There is no reward for speed. There is no attachment to outcome. The task of grief is to be experienced. We might wonder whether we can carry on?
LANGUISHING
When we are ‘languishing’ we are in liminal space – neither here, nor there. At times we might feel just fine and ready to move beyond the gut-wrenching pain of our loss. In other moments, we might find ourselves re-experiencing deep sorrow, as if our loss just happened. Languishing creates the space for us to be with our life losses, tenderly. We might move through our days feeling uncertain and without purpose. Life is happening. We might be back at work; driving kids to their activities; travelling; going to parties … and we might still feel like we are putting on a brave face … trying to make it through the day without collapsing. We might ask ourself whether we will ever feel whole again?
FLOURISHING
We accept that the pain of our loss will always be with us. We no longer try to numb our pain. We trust that being at peace with our grief means acknowledging the loss, giving ourself time and space to work through our grief, letting go of having to act a certain way, and believing that a renewed sense of joy and purpose is possible. We might feel inspired to explore new possibilities.
If you are longing to work through your loss from a place of hope and peace, please check out our grief support offers.
Dina Bell-Laroche (She/Elle)
Founder
When I was 31, my younger sister died. My world changed. All that I held to be right and true with the world no longer felt so. I defaulted to a way of grieving that rewarded me for being brave, courageous and stoic. In the meantime, I felt guilty for being the surviving sibling and inadequate. Nothing could ever bring Tracy back, so I desperately attempted to live life for the two of us.
The void didn’t get filled … for a long time I felt lost. Over time, and through trial and error, I was inspired to understand my grief, acknowledge the pain of my loss, find renewed joy and fulfillment in my life, and became inspired to share what I’ve come to know with others.
Over twenty years later, my grief journey continues. A proud parent of three children, I continue to work through my grief from a place of self-compassion, curiosity, and openness. I have immersed myself in bereavement theory and am currently enrolled in a thanatology program (study of death and loss) at the University of Western Ontario’s King’s College. Having studied under different death educators over the past decade, I have been inspired by many teachers who have imparted their knowledge and wisdom. All of this continues to serve me as I look to accompany others as a bereavement educator, author, speaker and grief coach.
And now I turn my attention to Grief Unleashed and the work I want to do to support others in their own grief and loss journeys. I hope my story of love and loss brings you comfort as you look to work through your own grief in a healthy and healing manner. To learn more about ways I can help, click here.
My Credentials
I have worked in high performance sport since 1991. Having participated as a media attaché or press chief in over a dozen national and international events, including 5 Olympic Games, I bring a deep understanding of what it takes to perform at the highest level. I was also involved in shaping a new approach to sport through a national movement that promotes more humanistic practices.
Since 2010 I have been working alongside my team members at Sport Law who are deeply devoted to shifting the consciousness of humanity through our work in sport, to inspiring positive change through our leadership offers, and to challenging conventional ways of doing business that are no longer serving us.
In 2014, I became certified as an Integral Master Coach™ and am accredited as a professional coach with the International Coach Federation. Each year I commit to ongoing learning opportunities which have enriched my understanding of what it means to live life fully. I have over 2500 coaching hours and am deeply humbled to be leading the way for more grief and loss literacy in sport, among coaching professionals and beyond.
Becoming grief and loss literate expanded my capacity to live a life that is deeply rewarding and meaningful. To find out how this might be possible for you as well, please send me an email at dina@griefunleashed.ca.
Since those dark days after Tracy’s death, I vowed to grieve differently. Our family raised thousands of dollars for the Relay for Life but after nearly a decade, we no longer wanted to spend time focusing on a cause that took Tracy away from us. Instead, we turned our attention to a charity that would become home to Tracy’s Hope.
Through SchoolBOX, my family found new meaning in our grief journey and we are so grateful to SchoolBOX for creating a home for Tracy’s ongoing legacy. Our continued bond with Tracy has helped to make education possible for hundreds of children in two NIcaraguan communities where they learn in one of her classrooms and read books from her libraries. Closer to home, we are humbled to partner with Indigenous communities to restore outdoor learning centres and contribute to healthier educational opportunities for children and youth.
The profound sense of joy that I feel as a result of Tracy’s Hope has given me renewed faith in life.
“Thank you Dina for showing up for me in ways I did not know I needed it. Every conversation I left feeling more mindful of who I was and also accepting where I was. It was the way you listened, and spoke that I always felt seen and heard, and well….that it was going to be ok. You’ve taken your personal loss and made it part of your life’s purpose to help others in a genuine and authentic way. Thank you for giving me the tools I needed to help me move forward in a way that I could continue to be a better version of me.”
— Karina LeBlanc, Olympian and Head of Women’s Football for CONCACAF.
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